A Bunch of *SIGHS*

*sigh*. i want to know , why is this so important? what i mean by important is, why does everyone tihnk/want to know if kevin and i are going out?? truthfully, we're not. as of right now. im not sure if he'll ask me to be his girlfriend... but i wouldn't say no. i mean, i'll be a little unsure because i don't want it to be a total flop. like, you know. freshman year was with blake because that was just a total joke.
i look foward to seeing him/talking to him at school because we do talk about a lot of things, and he is funny. and im pretty sure he flirts with me, i mean people who have "observed" us i.e: at the volleyball game, certainly do think so. im excited. kind of.
but at the same time i sort of try to "avoid" him, like i did with connor because i guess i'm afraid that if i do get too "close" with him then he will start to act like connor. you know, with all of the huggie/touchie things. and im not like that unless i'm completely confidant in the relationship & being with him. and just in general, i'm not the type of person who displays public signs of affection in public. unless the moment is extremely romantic and people aren't really around/watching us. i don't know why, i'm just not comfortable with it. and i don't know why but i don't like people calling him "heavy kevy". it's just not an attractive name. it's not like i'll make people stop calling him that, or whatever. it's just that i've heard better nicknames. like jagerstratter, halfnickel, romeo. and those are amazing nicknames because they are mine.
:)

another thing... *evenbiggersigh*. "mickey" and "minnie" are going through some issues, too and it just hurts me because i've never had a relationship with my brother before and just seeing them fight, it's horrible. they really do love and care about each other . but minnie has done some things that she's not completely proud of, but doesn't really take back. i mean, if you know the situation, it makes sense and it's completely understandable, but it's sad.
mickey wants to protect minnie but doesn't really know how to tell her and minnie wants to tell him so he doesn't get the wrong idea of her, because the things he's been told aren't really what they seem and she wants him to know and when she tried to tell him-- epic fail. *sigh*
mickey does care about her!!! he really does but he doesn't know how to talk to her & he comes across being mean and that he hates her, but he really doesn't!!!he said that he's trying to love her, but she makes it difficult. which i guess i can understand because not everyone gets along. but still.... *sigh*.
he's just trying to protect her and she knows that. and she, as much as she appreciates him trying to protect her, doesn't really want his protection and doesn't think that she needs it. but the truth is, she should take advantage of atleast some of his protection/advice because he just wants her to take it into consideration but she doesn't want to because she wants to be indpendant & who can blame her??? but at the same time, she really should just LISTEN to him (even if she doesn't follow it!!) because you never know when he's going to stop giving advice/ offering his help & protection. and, of course!, by then, she might want it and might need it.

you know what?? i told "mickey" this when we were alone yesterday, and i was completely honest!!! it was something like this, "I'm being 100% honest with you when i say this; i wish my brother cared for me even a little bit like you care for your sister."
I hope he really took that into consideration & hopefully he take that and realize that he should still keep on protecting her, or trying to protect her. I wish i told "minnie" that, and then maybe she'd atleast listen to what "mickey" is saying. It's not like she's completely ignoring him, but at the same time i got the impression that she's just openly refusing to listen to what he has to say!!!

i wish that they could work this out because it might cause some serious damage to their relationship.

fyi: if you hadn;t noticed this, the names have been changed to maintain/protect their privacy. i sort of wish that they'd read this so they could see both sides of their story.