yeah, so i could have sworn that my mother said that my sister's party was going to be on the 29th with my nana, rahter than the day of her birthday.... nope. as usual, im freaking wrong. i know she thinks im stupid and im 95% sure that she'd call me stupid more often if i didnt cry when she did. but when i tell her this, she turns on her lovely-dovey mother act on; what bullshit!!! just the way she acts when she's mad, i know she'd say it because she knows that it's the only thing she says that hurts my feelings. ugh. AND SHE'S SO CONTROLING!!!!
literally, i walked in the door, put my bag down, then i went in to say hi to everyone. then she told me that carolyn's aprty was tonight( even though i thought she told me it was going to be wednesday) and that i couldn't go to kevin's house. then i went out to my car to get my backpack because i forgot it there. As i was coming up the driveway she called out the window that i needed to say happy birthday to my sister; i said that was fine. i walked in the door, put my stuff in my room and put my hair up, as i was putting my hair up she called me downstairs. so when i went downstairs she had a bitch ft about how i need to not be so grumpy and grouchy and say happy birthday to my sister and give her a hug; CHILL THE FUCK OUT!!! seriously, calm down!!!! i had only been home five minutes and she's already freaking out!!!!! yeah, it's one thing that i fucked up on the date of my sister's party, but yelling at me because i hadn't said happy birthday to her in the five minutes that i had gotten home.... seriously??? ugh, i wish i was making this shit up!!! but nope!!! that shit's my life!!! im soo lucky!!! ***hinthintsarcasm***ugh. i can't wait to live at college and GET AWAY FROM HER!!!! not so much my father because he's more mellow and only freaks out when my mom freks out and is probably getting annoyed with her yelling an constant bitching... he's just soooo incompetent.... did i spell that correctly?? i think so... anyways, i asked my dad if i could have some friends come over on halloween and he said that was fine, but i'd ahve to check with my mom..... she had better not say no because a) i already kind of invited everyone, and b) she's working, so why the fuck should she care?? oh wait!! she's my mom, she "has to care"... no she doesn't, not anymore, anyways.... don'et get me wrong, i think she did a great job raising me and stuff, but seriously, LET GO!!! even just a little bit.... but i guess she can't because i'm so stupid that she always has to keep track of me!!!!! ugh!!!!
im trying so hard to let whatever she says roll off because i don't want to fight; as a matter of fact, i don't want anything to do with her!!! i could fight soooooo much more with her, but due to the fact that i can't stand her, i avoid arguements and giving my two centes because i don't want to be around her, and "everything i say, i do for attention!"... you know, i find that to be soooo insulting and hurtful... whenever she says that or ahs said that in the past, it's just sooo bovious that she doesn;t give a rat's ass as to what i have to say, and it's like she's assuming that i do everything for attention and can't think for myself. i'm so sick and tired of being shot down like that; i feel like i'm pretty mature and goal oriented, and i know that i think for myself, i don't depend on others and any one of my friends could say, if asked, that i don't look for attention and don;t give a rats ass as to what people think of me. i don't feel like i should prove this to her anymore than i think i've tried to prove it to her, already. i feel like i've made this sooo bovious already, that if she doesn't see it now, then she'll never see it and therefore there's no point in even trying.
i'm just trying to hold everything in untill i go to college and don't have to keep myself from falling apart, anymore.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
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